Blame
by SwimmerNinja13
Summary: Somebody has to take the blame for this, and everyone has to deal with either regret or resentment, or both. These things are always complicated. Emotions are tricky. Maybe blame can't be put on just one person. Maybe everyone carries around a bit of guilt. Spoilers for episode 97.


**Hey everyone! This has spoilers for episode 97. If you haven't watched it yet, don't read this until you do. I don't want to spoil it for you, considering how good it was.**

**So for the rest of you, I'm shook! Honestly, I'm pretty sure Cole is only going to be "dead" for like an episode, but that episode ripped my heart in pieces. I'm seeing a lot of people writing one shots about the episode, and I couldn't help but jump on board.**

**Here's my take on what happens after the fact. Grab a box of tissues and get ready to cry your heart out!**

Blame. Situations like these call for someone to put the blame on. Nya's already expressed that. When Jay finally pried his trembling hands from the ropes of the ladder and got on board, he finds Nya, broken and on the ground.

Zane is controlling the ship while keeping Kai away from the gears, knowing Kai very well wants to turn the ship around, only they can't.

Nya looks up and meets Jay's eyes. She instantly turns away, ashamed. It's his best friend she just killed.

Nobody says anything. Jay feels numb, the image of Cole's fall haunting him the way Zane and Nya's deaths did. This time, he's sure he's going to stay dead. Things never happen the same way twice, and Cole already "came back from the dead" once.

When Jay finally feels he can move again, he kneels to the ground beside Nya and hugs her.

It's a long time before either of them say anything.

"I'm sorry," Nya whispers, "It's all my fault."

"It's not your fault," Jay pulls Nya closer, letting the tears fall. He knows they're not going to stop any time soon.

A thought hits him, and he's ashamed of it. What if it really is Nya's fault? He tells himself it was an accident, the wiring on the thruster is messed up. The thought doesn't go away. Jay's always known where he stands with Nya, but at that moment he doesn't. How can he love her and be this angry at her at the same time? And how can he ever really know if it was her fault or not.

He tries to push the thoughts, the confusion away, but they stay there. He hates himself for it.

It's Nya's fault.

He pulls himself away and doesn't say anything more.

Lloyd, Garmadon, and Pixal are back on the ship. Lloyd's demanding to know what happened to Cole. Words fall out of Kai and Zane, almost like they're not even processing what they're saying.

"It's my fault," Nya tries to explain. The guilt is heavy in her voice.

It's in that moment that Jay regrets everything. He shouldn't have gotten so angry. He shouldn't have let go of Nya. He should have told her a million times that she isn't to blame, that he loves her, that it's gonna be okay, even though everything is far from okay. Now's his chance to make up for that.

"But it's not your fault!"

He hugs her, and this time doesn't let go, even when Garmadon starts waving the golden armour around, and Jay seriously wants to punch the guy in the face for being so insensitive.

It's not about survival anymore, it hasn't been for a long time. It's about family.

Sometime later, Garmadon disappears to the sleeping cabin.

Lloyd's festering in anger, and Kai and Zane are trying to keep him from shattering all the dishes on the ship. Jay feels pretty useless, sweeping up remnants of a plate Lloyd threw.

"I hate him!" Lloyd screams.

"No you don't," Jay can almost hear Kai roll his eyes when he says that.

"Maybe it's best to focus on what we love right now. Hate isn't going to help. It's what the onis are, remember? We have to fight for what we love, that's how we win," Zane says solemnly.

"We can't win," Lloyd gets up and walks away.

"I should've let you turn the ship around," Zane sighs, "I'm sorry."

"You did the right thing," Kai reassures him, "I would've killed everyone."

Kai and Zane continue to talk, leaving Jay alone. He might as well have not been in the room at all. Jay lets his thoughts wander a bit, he hopes Nya is doing alright. Where is she anyway?

Jay leaves the kitchen to find her. She's not with the news crew, and she's not with Pixal steering the ship. He highly doubts she'd be with Garmadon. Every place he looks and fails to find her makes him increasingly more worried. It's not like she'd try anything stupid, but he knows this is eating her up inside, and she shouldn't be dealing with this alone. Jay mentally kicks himself for not looking for her sooner.

She's on the back deck, crying.

"Nya?"

She turns to face him and scoots over to make room for him. Jay sits down.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm not," Nya shakes her head.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Not unless you can turn back time and stop me from pulling that lever," Nya replies sardonically.

"This isn't your fault, you know," Jay wraps an arm around her.

"Yes," Nya grits her teeth, "it is."

Jay doesn't know how to respond. He's pretty sure nothing he says is going to change what Nya thinks.

"Remember what Sensei says?" Jay asks, taking a shot in the dark, "You can't change the past, but you can affect the future."

"How?" Nya sobs, "We're defenseless against the oni! And our future is sealed. You and I both know that Cole had no reflection in the first spinjitzu master's tomb."

"We'll figure something out. At least we have the golden armour now. That's something, right?" Jay grins half heartedly. At this rate, he can't even convince himself.

Nya sighs, "I guess so..." she trails off.

Jay knows what she wants to say though. Having a fighting chance isn't the same as having Cole back. How much longer until that wasn't an undertone to everything they said?

Nya cries into Jay's shoulder. He's crying too of course. Silently though. He wants to be strong, for Nya.

"You're gonna be okay," Jay whispers.

Nya nods her head and whimpers.

"What have the others said?" Nya asks.

"Huh?"

"They must be furious," she explains, though not really.

"What? Nobody's mad?" Jay raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure? I'd be mad."

Jay sighs, utterly frustrated, "Nya, nobody's mad. This isn't your fault."

"It feels like it is."

"It's actually my fault," Jay says, trying a new tactic, "I said I was going to rewire the thruster right, and I never did."

Nya shakes her head, "You haven't had time. Besides, you're only saying that to get me to not feel so bad about this."

Jay looks down, "I take it it's not working?"

"No," Nya answers, "Look, Jay, I really appreciate it that you came to try and comfort me, I do. But I think I need some time by myself to sort out my thoughts."

Jay stands up reluctantly, "I understand," Before he goes, he pulls her into a tight hug one more time, "Just know that however much you beat yourself up about this, I don't think any different of you. I still love you."

"Thank you," Nya says softly and hugs him back.

Jay lets go and walks back inside the bounty, taking one last look at Nya. He's never seen her this way, and it's scaring him. He realizes that asking her to be his yang is going to have to wait, maybe a long time, but for now that's the least of his concerns. They've got the oni to deal with, Cole's funeral to plan, although Jay doesn't want to think about that. And Jay is going to get Nya to smile again. He feels defeated that he can't even do the last one, he's always been able to make Nya laugh.

Discouraged with everything, Jay looks to go find what's left of the team.

**I'm sorry that ending was so depressing. It was actually kind of fun to write though in a weird way. If you've read most of my stuff, you probably know I like a hopeful undertone. This was different.**

**So question time! Who thinks Cole is dead dead? And who thinks Cole is going to come back for the finale? I think the later, but that doesn't mean I haven't she'd my share of tears over this episode. The Fall is way up there on my list of favorite episodes (along with The Last Resort and Saving Faith). Assuming my theory is right, I already have a bunch of head canons about Cole giving Nya a bunch of garbage for "killing" him. After the final episode comes out, and depending on how that goes, you guys may see a Oneshot about that soon.**

**Until then, this is definitely my final update until the episode comes out. I have my youth group winter retreat, so I'll be busy. I'll see you all sometime soon. Adios!**

**#God's Not Dead!**


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